Anniversary and Surgery

Yesterday was my and Brad's 7th anniversary! We ate leftovers for dinner and then ate popcorn and chocolate cake while watching the Bachelorette. Very romantic, I know =). But we had family in town through the weekend, and Eli had to be at the hospital bright and early this morning, so there really hasn't been a chance to go out. One thing I will say is that every year I realize more and more just how lucky I am to be married to Brad! We all have our ups and downs in life, but I hope I always remember never to take him for granted. He is kind and devoted to me and our little family. Here are the gorgeous roses he surprised me with (it's not too often I get a whole dozen so I know he must love me too, lol).


And this morning Eli is at the hospital to get tubes put in his ears. He had to be there at 6am so Brad took him and I stayed behind with Owen. Brad will get to sit with him while he goes under the anesthesia, and I'll head over in a bit so I can be there when he wakes up. Even though it's a "minor" procedure, it is so nerve wracking to send your baby off into someone else's hands. They were going to remove his adenoids too, but I backed out of that. I just don't think a two year old (or his mommy) should be expected to deal with surgery recovery while having his house packed up and moved a week later.

Weaned

It's official - my "baby" nursed for the last time just over two weeks ago. And I mean Eli, not Owen. It's funny, when I first got pregnant with him I was shocked to discover that you were "supposed" to breastfeed for 12 months. I couldn't really imagine it - I thought I'd hang in there for six and see what happened. I guess you could say it's been quite the journey for me, but that's what motherhood is about I guess. I will never forget the first time he nursed - shortly after delivery I was holding him skin to skin and trying to get set up to try it when my little minutes-old baby lifted up his own head, aimed, and latched himself right on! My mom and Brad as my witnesses - it was amazing! The first two months were a challenge though - I struggled with engorgement, oversupply, and unexplainable excruciating pain! I visited with a lactation consultant to work on Eli's latch, and finally figured out on my own that I probably had thrush and proceeded to treat it with GSE and acidophilus. That did the trick, and from then on it was smooth sailing. Eli was a baby in love with nursing, and I loved it too. It is a special feeling to be able to feed a hungry baby, and to soothe the bumps and bruises and emotional roller coasters of early toddlerhood. There were challenges for sure - Eli enjoyed nursing through the night until he was over 14 months old. He also never took to a bottle and was very slow to accept solid foods, so I couldn't be far from him for very long. But these 2 1/2 years have gone so fast that I haven't had time to regret it at all.

As for how I decided to nurse him this long, it just sort of evolved that way. We made it to the one year mark, and I realized that it was such an arbitrary number for weaning. I couldn't imagine the trauma and tears of inexplicably taking away something that meant so much to him. Plus, breastmilk was still a huge source of his nutrition. I figured I'd keep on and re-acess at 18 months. Then, I got pregnant with Owen. This brought up so many questions - do I wean immediately? Soon? Ever? Again I couldn't bring myself to just cut him off, but I more actively helped him to cut back simply because I was nauseas and exhausted. The first OB I saw in AZ found out I was nursing, and seemed mortified. "That is NOT recommended" he announced. Well whatever, I'd at least read enough La Leche League literature that I knew that wasn't true. It may not be COMMON in our culture, but there's nothing wrong with breastfeeding during pregnancy. At least the midwives out here (both at the hospital and my homebirth midwives) were totally unphased by it. I figured that weaning would naturally occur at some point before Owen was born. My milk dried up around the 4th or 5th month, and Eli cut back to nursing just before nap and bedtime with a little extra during times of illness or stress, but even the lack of milk was not enough to make him want to give it up completely. I figured I wouldn't push the issue until after the move. During the stress of the roadtrip and the move, I was so grateful for the comfort and easy sleep inducement that nursing provided. As 18 months came and went, I realized that in so many ways Eli was still a baby. If you've never had the opporutnity to nurse a young toddler, I'd give it a chance! I mean it - when those inexplicable and ucontrollable tantrums hit, all I'd have to do was offer a "nursie" and he would accept - it always led to an immediate and complete attitude adjustment. And with the exhaustion of pregnancy, it was always nice to be able to get my active little guy to sit still with me for a while. Learning to nurse around the growing belly was a fun challenge too, and I've got some cute pictures of it (though I think I'll forgo posting them). As for those who worry about the embarassment or social implications of nursing a toddler or baby who can "talk" - it was really never an issue. The times I nursed him were at home, so it wasn't like we were out in the public eye. And he didn't start actually SAYING "please nurse" until recently, and again that was at home at bedtime and not at the grocery store.

One special nursing memory was the night Owen was born. I had just had a beautiful birth experience, along with nursing Owen for the first time. Several hours later (we had Owen at home) Eli woke up and came into our room. He cuddled next to me in our bed and I nursed him back to sleep just as usual. Then all four of us spent Owen's first night alive cuddled together in our bed. More recently, I nursed Eli just before bed, and afterwards he said "Thanks mama! Yummy noose (nurse)!" Now if that doesn't warm a mother's heart then I don't know what does! I also look back fondly on nursing during his first year - the cuddles, grunts, gazing into my eyes and patting my chest or holding my finger, gummy smiles etc. It was a very important and positive part of our relationship.

As for the weaning process, I guess you could say that weaning really began when I got pregnant with Owen, and has taken a slow course until now. When we moved here, I started attending La Leche League meetings and met other mothers who had nursed through pregnancy, and then "tandem nursed" both children. The idea became less strange to me, and I found the support I needed to continue the course I felt was best. Eli was down to only nursing at nap and bedtime when Owen was born. When my milk came in, he was overjoyed and increased his nursing again to several times a day. It was taxing at times, but I also really believe that it helped him with the transition of becoming a brother and having to share his mom. He would often point when Owen was nursing and say "Owen's noose" then point to the other side and say "E-I's noose." He also liked to put his face right next to Owen and pretend he was nursing at the same time. Before Owen was two months old, I was able to get Eli back to just bedtime nursing. I worked on getting him to nurse, then lay down and hold my hand to fall asleep instead of nursing to sleep. This went pretty smoothly and continued on for several months. There would be nights when he'd fall asleep without it, so I knew he was capable. Then two weeks ago he had 3 nights in a row of falling asleep without nursing (once on the couch watching a movie, once talking to grandma on the phone, once while we were out hiking late). So the 4th night when I took him to bed and he asked to nurse, I told him we weren't going to do it tonight. He burst into tears and started sobbing as if his heart was broken. I was mostly testing the waters and had no intention of letting him cry on and on if he really wanted it. But I asked if I could cuddle and tell him a story about a mouse (his latest obsession) and he quit crying immediately and cuddled up. Ever since that's been our bedtime routine! He has still asked for it again here and there, and still pretends to nurse next to Owen, or will ask to cuddle or kiss the nursies, but no more tears at all. So, I know he was ready. And it's been a bittersweet feeling! In some ways a relief that he doesn't have to rely on a nurse for his bedtime routine (but the story telling actually takes LONGER to put him to sleep than the nursing did!), and sad that he has outgrown the need for something so central to our relationship for so long. I guess that's always how it feels when our kids are growing up. And it's funny, my six month "maximum" has turned into a two year "minimum." I really can't envision nursing a baby less than 18 months to 2 years anymore!

So why am I sharing this personal story? Mainly to document a major milestone, but also to avoid being a "closet nurser." Now if any of you ever find yourself not wanting to immediately wean your baby at a year, or you are unexpectedly pregnant and nursing, you can say "hey I knew someone who did that" and you don't have to feel so weird =). Two good books I recommend about the topic: Adventures in Tandem Nursing and Mothering Your Nursing Toddler.

FYI. If you like the experts to back you up, the World Health Organization actually recommends breastfeeding for two years minimum and thereafter as long as desired; the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends one year minimum and thereafter as long as desired. =)

Fashionista

Eli is developing quite the fashion sense, and I'm flattered that he likes to imitate my style. It's great that he is man enough to embrace his inner fashionista!

At least he's tried on Daddy's shoes too.

Crazy Sleeping Kids

The picture of Eli sleeping with the phone in the last post gave me the idea to do this one - I realized that I have quite a few shots of the kids in funny sleeping positions just from the past few months. I've been taking care of a sick, fussy baby this weekend, and Brad is away working on all the destruction the tenants caused in our AZ home, so I thought I'd cheer myself up and share a laugh with you all!

Eli at the dinner table.

Eli with bread.

Eli with a catfish.

Eli with whales and dvd player.

Owen with toys on floor.

Owen on couch.
Owen and Daddy on couch.
Owen in boppy with thumb in nose.

Grandma Magic

Eli loves all of his grandparents, but has formed an especially close friendship with my mom. She has always worked hard to spoil him, but I think they really bonded when she was there to be his number one fan during the "trauma" of becoming a big brother. Eli has recently figured out that he can talk to her on the phone, and asks to call her several times a week. He brings me the phone and says "Grandma sing cow?" meaning he wants to call her so she can sing him Old McDonald... and sing to him she DOES. She will sing and tell him stories until her voice is hoarse... oh how he LOVES it and oh how I love it! Last week I called my mom during the evening of one of Brad's long days - it was one of THOSE days - you know the ones that just seem to drag on forever and you've lost your patience several hours before bedtime rolls around? Eli wouldn't even let me talk to her, because he wanted to, so I set it on speaker and let him hold it while I went about doing other things. A while later I could hear my mom saying "Eli, are you there? Eli?" so I went in to check on him and he had completely passed out on the couch listening to her tell stories! I put him to bed and he slept through the entire night - dirty teeth and all =). I am so grateful to my mom for her support across the miles, and her love and devotion to my kids. We miss you and wish you were closer!

Memorial Day

As I mentioned, Brad had to work on Memorial Day, but we managed to have a good time anyway. The weather was GREAT and the boys and I spent the morning outside filling the birdfeeder and watching birds eat from it. We've seen some beauties - Blue Jays, Eastern Blue Birds, Cardinals, Finches, Robins (in the yard but not at the feeder), and of course Sparrows and Chickadees. I got some cute shots of the boys in their "twinner" outfits - both of which are Eli's from last year =). We were invited to spend the day with a family in our ward, so I took the boys for some good food and playtime. We ended up staying ALL day because Eli did NOT want to leave. He wanted to "play with kids!" He also couldn't get enough of the bright pink doll house that was there - I'll have to find a non-pink version for the boys to pretend with. We were still there when Brad got off at 7pm, so he joined us for a late meal and an hour of socializing. It was a nice day.




The next day Brad got really sick at work but managed to tough it out (maybe he got some food that sat out too long?), but he stayed home yesterday to recover. Not that we are glad he got sick, but it was nice to have him home for a whole day! He even watched Owen so I could take Eli to his Dr. appointment alone, and then on a "special trip" to watch the diggers at the construction site in "downtown" (about a mile from our house). He had a BLAST watching that digger tear up the sidewalk and really enjoyed having mommy all to HIMSELF, which I don't think he has since Owen was born (aside from naptimes).

Pleasant Valley Wildlife Sanctuary

I mentioned that Brad is going to be working crazy hours the next few weeks. Well, we were both sad that he wouldn't have a day off this weekend, but luckily Friday was one of his "short" days in the rotation schedule and he got home around 5pm. So, we grabbed a picnic dinner from Subway (gotta love $5 footlongs!) and headed down to the Pleasant Valley Wildlife Sanctuary in Lenox. This little piece of paradise is only ten minutes from our house. I should mention that these little side trips lately have been FREE because our library has passes to them that you can check out for a day.

We had a LOVELY evening stroll around a pond and through the woods. We saw birds, squirrels, mice, and beaver. Eli's favorite part was doing his "peripheral test" with a stick. He was so enthralled with the stick that I couldn't get him to look at the camera (that's nothing new) or even much of the wildlife around him. We finally had to start throwing pinecones into the forest and pretending the "thump" was a mouse scurrying by in order to get Eli moving down the trail. He's been obsessed with mice eversince - and saw two real ones the next day when our landlords were doing yardwork - so now I have to tell him a bedtime story about the mouse every night. Owen absolutely loves the outdoors, and he at least took full advantage of the scenery. Anyway, What should have been a 30 minute walk took 90, but having a laid back evening together was the point. Thankfully we had our bug spray though because the pests come out in full force at dusk around here. Even still, Eli and Owen both ended up with a fly bite, but at least the mosquitos were kept at bay! It doesn't even get dark here until after 8:30pm, so we stayed late. Once loading the kids in the car they were both sacked out within 5 minutes, so I took Brad on a little drive to show him some of the beautiful things I had discovered lately within just a few minutes' drive of our home - including a waterfall down the street from our church!

Waterfall Near Church

The Mount

Most people are enjoying a 3 day weekend right now.... for us Brad gets to work 3 LONG days in a row (until after 7pm) to finish the first week of 3 WEEKS with NO days off. That's 14 straight days of wards, then he takes off early Saturday the 30th to Arizona to get our house back in shape so we can rent it out again. So I'll be all alone for 5 days, then he gets back around midnight on a Weds only to start work bright and early the next morning for two more days. THEN we'll have a weekend - which includes a yardsale, and Brad's parents coming for a visit - yay! Just typing this is making me tired =). I'm taking the kids to the hospital today to have lunch and icecream with Daddy!

Last Saturday Brad was off and we went to check out a local attraction - The Mount, or the Edith Wharton Estate and Gardens in Lenox. Edith lived at the turn of the century, and came from a wealthy family. She became a best-selling American author in her time, and her works of fiction and short stories are still respected today (The House of Mirth). She was also an avid gardener, and interior designer - her book The Decoration of Houses put interior design "on the map" as a profession. The house and gardens she had constructed in Lenox are truly beautiful. Her home is much more simplistic and classically beautiful than other homes of the guilded age era. I think I would have liked getting to know her! She was also good friends with Henry James, another well known author of the time (Turn of the Screw), who visited The Mount often. Edith only lived in the home for a decade or so, until her mismatched marriage ended and she moved to Paris, where she stayed until her death. Since then, it's been a home to other families, as well as a school for girls. Now it is a museum. I am SO jealous of the gardens most of all, and the scenic views of Laurel Lake in the background.

Little Moose

Owen had his six month check yesterday, and according to our favorite doctor in the whole world (besides Brad), he is a "MOOSE." Actually, he weighs less than I was expecting, LOL. At 22+ pounds and 29" long, he is the length of a 10 month old and weight of a 12 month old. Really? That's ALL? Cuz he's in 18 month clothes and stretching them out.... Anyway, we love our little "chunka," and we especially love to squeeze and cuddle and kiss him!

Dear Owen,

I CAN NOT believe that you are SIX MONTHS old already! Your babyhood is flying by so quickly, that I feel this desperate need to take pictures of you every day and hug and kiss you every second because you are growing up too fast. You have brought so much joy to our family that we can't even remember what it was like to not have you here. Sometimes the greatest blessings in life can't be anticipated or planned.

Recently you have started saying "dadadada!"which gets Daddy hopping to do your bidding, even though you don't yet know what you are saying. You also blow raspberries from your lips that get us all laughing. You finally started rolling over last week, and can shriek with excitement louder than anyone. You LOVE being outside and will be content for hours to sit in your little play center out there watching birds, cars, and your big brother. I just have to be on guard that he doesn't throw rocks at you, because you both think this is funny for some crazy reason.

This week you also started (melt my heart) REACHING for me! There can not be a better moment for a mom. I love it when you go into "baby attack" mode or stare me down when you want to nurse. You are sleeping pretty well at night - except for the fact that Eli comes in and wakes us ALL up every night with his shenanigans. Your favorite place to snooze is still tucked right up next to me or Daddy, so you wake up several times in the early evening until one of us finally gives in and comes to bed with you.

As for food...Oh the FOOD! You ARE. A. FAN! Hooray! You ACTUALLY like food, and are in fact, obsessed already! I'm usually strict about certain "baby rules" but you have been sneaking food since well before the six month mark. You will throw a baby tantrum if any of us have something you want and we don't get it to you fast enough. Your FAVORITE is avocado, and you have also enjoyed banana, brown rice, oatmeal, bread crust, animal crackers, and pure maple syrup. Dad and I LOVE watching you eat, and get a kick out of your efforts to spoon feed yourself already.

You still have a grab reflex that is quick as lightning. You will snatch anything and everything from us, which has led to several papercuts. It usually elicits some heavy duty opposition from Eli when you snatch his toys though. We've had to break up some fights between you two already. I have no doubt that you will be able to stand up for yourself in no time at all. Usually the two of you get along great though, and when you both get to giggling hysterically at each other, I can't help but join in the laughter. You much prefer remote controls, phones, silverware, and big boy toys to any baby toy. Your favorite is a giant Tonka truck that is bigger than you are!

The last patch of your dark newborn hair has been replaced with a full silky blondedness. Your huge blue eyes are noted by everyone who sees you, and your chunky goodness is irresistable! I have to lift up your chins to wash your neck, as well as search through rolls to find your armpits and thighs at bathtime. We love every inch of you and your sparkling personality! Thanks for joining our family, and try not to grow up too fast!

Love,
Mom

PS - I can't believe I got this typed today ... you got 3 shots yesterday and woke up with a cold this morning so you have been extra cranky and haven't let me out of your sight to even get a drink or snack ... you are "helping" me type this ... we stayed in our jammies today and watched Free Willey with Eli =).

Labels

So I finally added "labels" to my sidebar... waaaaaaaay down there at the bottom. Now you can search for old posts by topic (since I KNOW you are dying to). Now I don't know what to label this post! A new one? Perhaps "blog maintenance?" Huh. When you see them all lined up and numbered like that, it doesn't look like I blog *that* much =).