Well she finally made it! Our sweet girl, Ava Jean Benson was born on Sunday February 19th at 4:15pm. Today is my actual "due date," so she was kind enough to arrive a few days early, and get me out of another week of church, haha. We are all completely smitten with her, big brothers included. There is never a lack of arms to hold her, and we often hear a chorus of "it's MY TURN to hold the baby!" Little Miss Ava weighed in at 8lbs 9oz and 19.5 inches long... roughly a pound smaller and 3 INCHES shorter than my first baby, so she seems like such a tiny doll to me! She arrived with silky chocolate brown hair, and dark blue eyes. She reminds me of both Eli and Owen in different ways - and they both looked very different from each other, so she must be a good mix of features. Ava means "life" in Hebrew, "little bird" in Latin, and "voice/beautiful song" in Persian. Jean is after my grandmother, and the first half of my name, and means "God is gracious."
As for her birth, I'm torn between calling it a 3 hour, or a 17 hour, or a 3 day labor, haha. She is also our "water baby" in that I was able to birth her in the large tub at our hospital - something I have always hoped for, but didn't necessarily have planned for this birth. It just goes to show that you never really know quite what to expect from a delivery experience! Now for the story...
The last few weeks of this pregnancy were really taking a toll on me... it always gets uncomfortable at the end, but this time around I had so much swelling in my legs and feet, and so many other aches and pains from her "dropping" on the early side that it was difficult to walk, or sit, or lay down, or ANYTHING. Just taking Eli to preschool in the mornings and having to grab a few groceries at the store seemed like impossible tasks I had to face. I thought for sure when she "dropped" around 36 weeks that she would be born soon... but apparently she needed nearly the full 40 weeks to "cook." Babies come when they are ready - I believe that - but it's not always when the mama feels ready!
Anyway, Thursday of last week I remember being particularly tired, and I went to bed uncharacteristically early... so when I woke up at 2am with regular contractions (about 5 minutes apart) I thought for sure that my birthing time was starting and that we might even have a baby in the night. But although the contractions were regular, and strong enough to keep me awake for a couple of hours, they weren't all that intense. Needless to say I was exhausted and disappointed by sunrise when things had stopped, and I still had to get up and take Eli to school, Owen to the library, and then both boys to gymnastics. I continued to have sporadic contractions throughout the day, and just felt "crampy." I was more than a little nervous to be out and about alone with the kids, just in case things picked up... but they never did. By Saturday I was feeling pretty tired, and just "different." I told Brad more than once throughout the day that I knew it would have to happen soon, because there was no way I could carry on like this. We went for a long walk as a family, and Brad gave me some Osteopathic cranial treatment that we have used at the end of my other pregnancies to help stimulate labor as well. I really felt that part of the problem for me that day was being able to completely relax and be mentally/emotionally open to starting labor. I felt like I was just waiting for a quiet and peaceful time without interruptions so that I could settle in and have a baby (a hard thing to find with two energetic little boys around all the time!).
It wasn't surprising then, that after the boys went to bed Saturday night, things finally got "started." Just as I was getting ready for bed about 10pm, I found I was losing the mucus plug and figured I'd be in labor at least by sometime the next day (following the pattern of my first two). I laid down, but now the adrenaline of anticipation kept me from falling asleep at all, and by 11pm contractions had started. They were strong, but not exceptionally close or regular. I figured I would just time them now and then and get Brad up when I was sure this was "it" - especially after Thursday night. Well, it was a LONG night. The contractions were intense enough that they required my focused attention to get through, so I couldn't sleep. But they would come anywhere from 5 to 15 minutes apart - not at all regular like either of my first two labors. To make matters worse, Owen woke up FOUR TIMES that night and came in our room. I finally woke Brad up and asked him to get Owen out of our bed and to go sleep with him in the other room... I let him know I'd been having contractions all night and I thought this was "it" and I'd come get him when they were closer together. In retrospect, I probably should have just gotten out of bed and had him support me through some contractions - I think it would have moved things along more quickly. Trying to labor while laying down is so NOT EFFECTIVE for most people, and definitely not for me. (The toilet is the way to go, by the way, lol! You can relax and not worry about having to pee, and the position is more comfortable!)
By 5am things were still about the same, and when Brad came in to check on me we decided to get up and eat breakfast and start packing our last minute things (hospital bags had been packed for weeks!). But while we were up getting ready, things sort of slowed down and just wimped out. The contractions were really strong when I'd get them, but they slowed down to about 2 or 3 an hour! So I figured, this isn't really labor then! Or is it? I still couldn't get sleep in between them because they were strong enough to wake me, but not regular enough to head in to the hospital. I was really feeling confused and frustrated. Thankfully my wonderful friend/neighbor/visiting teaching companion "Grandma Betty" had been lined up as our support person to take care of the boys... since she lives up the street I called and asked if they could spend the morning with her so we could get some rest and figure out what was going on. I thought in my mind that it was likely to drag on intermittently all day, and that maybe the next night would be "it."
While the boys were busy at her house Sunday morning, Brad and I took a walk to try and get things going again. We came home and Brad took a nap, while I listened to some Hypnobabies cd tracks (I haven't taken the course, but my sister teaches it and I have some of her tracks - she recommended I listen to "Birthing Day Affirmations" and "Fear Clearing"). I actually think it was really helpful in clearing my mind and helping me to relax, accept that my birthing time was coming, and give into it! From then on I had my Ipod glued to me, listening to either Hypnobabies, or my favorite Enya music, and Einaudi compositions. I woke Brad at about Noon and told him he should probably go to church with Betty and the boys because nothing had changed. When he called Betty though, she promised things were under control and told him to just stay home with me and rest - she took the boys to church with her. Well I'm so GLAD she did because the way things went down next, I just may have had the baby home all by myself waiting for Brad to get back!
By 1pm (about the time church would be starting) the contractions seemed to be getting more regular at about 10 minutes apart. I really started needing Brad's help to get through them as well (He is an AWESOME birth companion and support) and finally opted for the toilet sitting =). We also tried a couple of belly lifts (see backlabornomore.com) as a technique to assist a sluggish labor. Well something worked.... figuring he had at least 10 minutes in between contractions, Brad jumped in the shower - and all of a sudden contractions went from 10 minutes down to 3-5 minutes. He was having to talk me through them from the shower! Once he got out and started packing the car, I started to get "bossy" lol. He was NOT moving fast enough! At one point I yelled "You better get {crap} in the car Brad, it's time to go!" I couldn't believe things would be happening so fast after a day of uncertainty! We left the house by 2:30pm but had a half hour drive to the hospital in Fulton, MO where we'd chosen to deliver (much smaller town hospital, more natural birth friendly, and where my awesome Dr. practices). We texted our Dr. who also lives in Columbia, so she could meet us at the hospital. There was NO WAY I could sit in the car at that point - Brad laid down the front passenger seat for me and I just kneeled on it - facing backwards and leaning over and hanging onto the headrest on the back of the seat, listening to Enya on my ipod - but on low enough volume that I could still listen to Brad talk me through each contraction. Amazingly, I did not get carsick, though I had my throw up bowl with me just in case. Also amazingly, I was so focused inward on trying to relax and let the baby come down that the long drive out to Fulton went by faster in heavy labor than it ever had all the times I'd driven out there for appointments!
When we finally arrived at the ER entrance (main entrance is closed on weekends - it's a small hospital!) I was so focused, and the contractions were so close (maybe 1 or 2 minutes apart?) that it took a while for me to even be able to get out of the car. Thankfully the L&D nurse met us just inside and walked me right back to the room while Brad checked in and got our bags. She immediately started filling up the labor tub while I used the bathroom and got undressed. By then my Dr. had arrived and she did a quick check (six centimeters!), listened to the baby's heart and got my vitals. Getting into the warm tub was exactly what I needed at that point, and I had been looking forward to it so much! The warm water really helped me to relax and feel more comfortable - we also had my Ipod hooked up to speakers so I could listen to my Enya (I'm pretty attached, lol). I knew by the way that I was feeling, it would not be long until the baby was born, but I did have a little doubt creep in knowing that I was "only" a six when I was checked (good reason why it's not necessarily a good idea to tell mom's their dilation numbers - it can be discouraging). Things went quickly though... Brad sat up on the edge of the tub behind me so I could lean back on his legs. Things continued to intensify, and I suddenly felt like I needed to push!
Beforehand, I wasn't really planning on having the baby in the water - with Owen I had used a squatting position and figured we would do that this time around. Also, it's not really "policy" at the hospital to have the births in the tub... but next thing I knew Brad was completely in the tub behind me, and I was pushing! It was so wonderful to have him back there holding me and talking to me, his hands on my belly even feeling each contraction! Each time I'd push, I would end up floating up a bit to a more comfortable position, then sink back down and rest in between. I remember Brad and my Dr. laughing a couple of times when I didn't like something Brad was saying to me and I yelled "shut up!," and a couple of times as she was crowing I demanded of them to "GET HER OUT!"
My Dr. was able to lean over the edge to "catch" the baby as she came out, and hand her up out of the water to us. Thanks to our sweet nurse, we have a picture of our baby being handed up to us, as we both reached out to hold her for the first time! With her little body on my chest and her face inches from mine, I witnessed her take her FIRST BREATH as Brad rubbed her back and I touched her cheek, and watched as she opened her eyes and saw us for the first time. It was such a brief moment in time, but I will never ever forget it! The first thing I said to her was "Hi little girl!" The nurses suctioned her nose a bit right there on my chest, then covered her with warm wet blankets, and the three of us just snuggled together and enjoyed our first moments together. After a while I realized that no one had actually "announced" gender, and we hadn't looked! I said, "wait, I want to see if she really IS a girl!" =) So I tried to lift up one little leg, noticing that the cord was actually wrapped around it once... so I unwound it and got a little peek... yep! It's a GIRL!
We waited until the cord stopped pulsing to cut it, and Brad was able to do the honors while still seated behind me, with the baby on my chest. It was a first for us to not greet our brand new baby by name, but we had decided to wait until her arrival to look in her eyes and make it official. We were leaning towards Ava all along though, and after spending about a half an hour or so with her, and considering our other choices, we decided that Ava Jean fit her just right!
After cutting the cord, we got out of the tub and I got in the bed while the nurses checked Ava's vitals, and then brought her back to me to try nursing. And nurse she did! She latched right on and kept going, and going, and going... my Dr. was waiting to put in a few stitches for me, and it ended up being nearly 45 minutes of nursing, lol! When she finally decided she was done, I handed her over to Brad who was involved in getting her weighed and measured, and he dressed her in her first diaper and shirt while I got taken care of. We spent the rest of the afternoon/evening just loving on our little girl, taking pictures, trying to text and call family with terrible cell phone reception, and just relaxing. We were the ONLY people in the entire L&D wing .... I couldn't have asked for a more peaceful and beautiful experience. I was really nervous about delivering at a hospital again after having such a great home birth experience with Owen, but this was just the right fit for us. I can't imagine it having gone better elsewhere, or with any other Dr./caregiver. The only sad thing is that this hospital will be closing it's L&D department in a couple of weeks (thank goodness I missed the cutoff!!!!).
Later in the evening, my good friend Kristan drove the boys out to see us... they were so thrilled to meet her! Apparently they kept repeating to Kristan on the entire car ride "I'm just so excited." Owen could not wait to get his hands on her and hold her, and I distinctly remember Eli saying "Oh, she is SO CUTE!" They both got to hold her and check out her tiny hands and her "biliful cord" as Owen calls it. They each received a small stuffed animal "from Ava" to take home with them and snuggle since they would be sleeping at Grandma Betty's for the night. Apparently it was just the right move, because they slept great from what we hear (so good move Ava, wink wink). Brad and I were able to leave the hospital that night with instructions for him to continue checking vitals on Ava throughout the next day. We got home after midnight and had the house to ourselves for our first night at home with Ava. Brad whipped up our "celebration dinner" of scrambled eggs and toast with chocolate peanut butter... yum! We finally got to bed around 1:30am.
The boys came home the next morning for breakfast, and of course wanted to come in and hold the baby immediately. They have had a lot of fun checking her out, and are both extremely proud to be her brothers. Eli climbed in bed with me and said "I want to say a prayer and thank Heavenly Father for sending her to us." So he did - and it was such a simple and beautiful prayer... and I have to agree with him - Thank you, Heavenly Father for sending her to us - our "beautiful song of life!"
Click on the Link to see a slideshow of Pictures. =)
